DO I REALLY WANT TO GO THERE?
Do you ever get one of those assignments that you know is going to make everyone you know completely envious? I mean, not just green with envy but if there's some sort of day-glo version where the envy is visible even in the dark then they're going to be that kind of envious? Well, I got one this week.
At some point in the next little while I'm going to have to go overseas for the first time. That's not it. Not yet. The envious part is that a large chunk of our growth potential is at sports events. It's where we advertise the most, its also where we sell a lot of product, and let's face it, if you're going to introduce a new product it's much easier to get a bunch of people who just happen to be together anyway to spread the word of mouth on it than it is to blitz old media.
But here's the bit that's going to make you even more envious. I'm not into sports. It's really one of those things that everyone did which I've never seen the point of. I mean lets face it, I can be moved and motivated by a lot of things: great drama, a tight behind on a young lady, old people heading for the all-you-can-eat buffet; but a bunch of sweaty guys yelling and running back and forth on a piece of grass isn't one of them. Never was, never will be.
But like I said, my portfolio is NEW PRODUCTS so, like any good soldier I'm leaping into the whole sports thing, well, at least as far as its limited to things Extrabrew owns. And we've got our share of stuff, there's a Japanese baseball team, two cricket clubs in Asia somewhere, an Ice Hockey thing overseas, but the holy grail in America is Football.
Which is odd because aside from some College teams that we help we don't seem to be all that into Football, at least not here. Apparently that's intentional. We don't want fans in one city avoiding our product because we own a competing team. It's something like that, I'm sure. But I did find a Football listing over in Europe. I didn't know they played Football there but we seem to majority share in a Dutch Football club. Well, more accurately there was something in the sport portfolio summary report that caught my eye.
Oh come on!! You can't blame me, can you? I mean this chick really knows how to wear a logo, right? Right? My guess is she's a cheerleader although the cleats thing has me sort of confused. Let me go ask someone. I'll be right back...
Okay, apparently I got a few things really wrong. For one. It's not football, its actually soccer and she's a player in a woman's team. And the team is in Germany not Holland. (Who knew Deutch was german for German?)Well, I'm pretty sure I'm not going to bother going all the way over there for that. I mean I'd love to trace that thong thing she's got going but the only thing in sports I hate more than sweaty men on fields is games that require goalies, and I'm not alone on this one. No real American likes any sport that has a goalie. Never have, never will.
It's unpatriotic, and down right unAmerican to put something in the way of scoring. I hate it when things get in the way of scoring and all real men feel the same way. We like to score.
Okay, I might be going to Berlin after all. It turns out that not only is the above chick hot and on our payroll but she's apparently really friendly and has a twin. Hmmm.
Can I hide my disrespect for a sport with goalies long enough to score with her? And how close is she to this twin of hers? Actually the mailroom just pointed out she might not even speak English so as long as the word for goalie isn't the same in German (or Deutchish) then I might not have to worry.
I'll keep you posted. After all, new territories, new frontiers, new experiences, that's my thing. Besides, it couldn't hurt to get pics of her holding more Extrabrew stuff: Our new line of Citrus Beers, the erectile disfunction drug RISE-UP, Extrabrew logo covered balls, our New Products VP - hehehe.
Labels: babes soccer extrabrew marketing
posted by Owen Post @ 06:20
